FORTY! 2020 has been a hell of a year so far, but Sheena is not letting it stop her from enjoying her big milestone birthday! Granted it won’t be what she envisioned, however the world works in wonders and maybe this is the celebration she was looking for the whole time, celebrating with the people that really count 🙂
Sheena has been pretty pumped to turn 40! She has been coming into her own and really beginning to understand herself, her goals, her dreams, her family, friends and life so much better! She feels like this decade is going to be one for the books and she is excited to get it started. She feels wiser, more confident and definitely has a better sense of who she is and what her expectations out of life are. Don’t get it wrong, she still has a lot of learning and growing to do, but she is ready to grow and become a better version of herself. She has now realized that her 20s and 30s were just a lesson on how to approach her 40s and she is sharing her top 40 sentiments she has taken away on her journey to 40!
1. Life BEGINS at 40! – So many people think that once you hit that big 4-0, it’s too late, what’s the point? Hell no! Chase those dreams, set those goals, find that purpose, nurture your passions, love yourself…do it all! It’s just the beginning to a better you…
2. Keep the spark in your marriage – Marriage is work! Samir and I have been married 17 years and have grown with each other since day one. We love each other to the moon and back but also can get really annoyed with each other until the brink. I always try to remember how lucky I am and that someone else would give their everything to have the love, security, friendship and family that I do.
3. Welcome new friends into your life – I always thought it was harder to make new friends when you are older, but I am learning that welcoming new friendships is a gift that keeps giving. The friendships that I have made in my 30s are evolving into ones that share common interests, goals and values that are important for me and my family, so why not? Still holding onto my childhood friends though, because they also hold a piece of my heart.
4. Communication is key – I was always the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” kind of person and truthfully teach my kids that as well at this age. However, I learned that that is not always the case. Silence is not always the answer. Sometimes you just have to say what’s on your mind and speak up for yourself and what’s right!
5. Don’t push your family – To each is own! Just because they are your family, you cannot have unattainable expectations of them. Nurture your relationships with them because life is so short and you never want to have regrets but also give them the space they need to live their lives outside of your opinions.
6. Love your body – Gosh, this one has been an up and down battle for me for so long. I go through a love/hate relationship with my body constantly. I have always been a workout buff but I also love food! At times I love where I am in my fitness journey and at others I want to starve myself (would never though, because you know, the love of food thing). I have decided that I am not going to torture myself about eating and working out but am going to find a balance that will take care of my body and make me happy.
7. Jewelry is the best accessory – period.
8. Making an effort really counts – the effort you put in shows in so many ways.
9. I will never be my mom – Momma Vaid has seriously set such a high standard of the what kind of person I want to be. I have come to realize that trying to live up to her will be an ongoing, life long project.
10. Take care of your skin, body, mind, spirit and soul – Invest in the right skincare products/regime, do yoga, meditate, pray, journal and take care of YOU!
11. Explore therapy – ain’t no shame in this game! With mental health at the forefront of every conversation, I have learned how important it is. When you recognize THAT, your journey to a better you begins. Let go of the taboos and take what you need.
12. Your home is not a museum – I am super particular about my home. I am a perfectionist and like everything to be prim and proper. Scratches on tables, black marks on the wall, finger prints on glass, etc… drive me absolutely crazy. In my 30s, as a mom, I have learned to understand that my home is a home and in fact not a museum. Finally opening up to letting ourselves “use” the home instead of preserving it to the ninth.
13. Don’t be afraid to ask for help – In my 20s, I thought I knew it ALL! In my 30s, I was too proud to ask anyone for help as I thought I had it all together in life. I have learned that no one has it “all together” and there is absolutely nothing wrong in asking others for help – be it family, friends, colleagues or anyone else. You may never have it all figured out…and that’s ok.
14. Be a kid with your kids – let go a little and live like your kids. It’s ok to give into those moments of being their friends instead of their parents and indulging in come kids’ play.
15. Spoil yourself and spoil others – Go get that massage, that bag you gave been eyeing or night out with the gals. You deserve it but remember to pay it forward. There is so much fulfillment in spoiling someone else. In my 30s, I have experienced that first hand.
16. One piece bathing suits are sexy – Goodbye bikinis. Momma is not missing you at all.
17. Indulge – Eat that piece of cake, have that extra martini and you better damn well take those extra 15 minutes in the shower! Life will still be there and as amazing as ever afterwards.
18. Work on discipline – I have always done little challenges with myself to teach me some sort of discipline and self control. My 30s taught me that motivation is not enough, there needs to be discipline in order to achieve my goals.
19. Don’t settle – because you are worth it. Always…
20. Don’t always try to keep up – You do you and let me do me. That has been one thing that I have come into but with a little work on my end. I always wanted to be as strong as this person or as funny as this person or as successful as that person, but guess what, I AM strong, I AM funny and I AM successful in my own right.
21. Make sacrifices – Make them for family, for love, for your career, for yourself and most importantly, for your dreams. No one ever got anywhere without making some sacrifices on the way there…
22. What was life like before amazon? – I can’t even remember…
23. Let go of things you don’t use – Resident hoarder here! It’s healthy to let go of those things you were saving for a rainy day and simplify your life and home.
24. Find your confidence – There is nothing like it in this world. I can finally say that I am confident in who I am as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc. I learned in my 30s that not everyone is going to like you or support you, but that’s ok! As long as I am confident in who I am, that’s all that really matters.
25. Spend time with your parents – THIS! …because life is just way too short.
26. Take photos – These memories will last a lifetime. Schedule those family photoshoots (I do once a year), take out your phone for a quick snap whenever you can. The moments fly by but those photos and videos are so precious to go back to.
27. Agree to disagree – It’s not about who is right and who is wrong. There will be moments in life that you just will not come to terms with a situation. It is 100% ok to agree to disagree and move on.
28. Know your strengths and weaknesses – Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Work on making those weaknesses into positives. One of my weaknesses that I’m working on is my stubbornness! It’s that crazy Vaid blood that runs through me!
29. Ask questions – Think of everyone you meet as a teacher – everyone in the entire world knows something that you don’t know.
30. Be humble, be mindful, be compassionate – the world really just needs more of this…
31. Keep your friends close and your enemies far away – whoever made up the saying “keep your enemies close” is crazy – its a load of s%*t – I do not want any of those people bringing bad energy to me or my loved ones! Bye, Felicia!
32. Uplift others and they will uplift you – Fortunately, I’ve always had an incredible tribe supporting my every step. I took it for granted most of the time but have realized that without them, there is no “every step.” Thankful for the village I get to call my own and praying that I can be that for other’s when they need it.
33. Give back – “Your greatness is not what you have, it’s what you give.” – words to live by…
34. Be present – In my 20s, I feel like I was in that place where I was present in my life and living for the moment – little responsibility, so much privilege, living life to it’s fullest everyday. In my 30s when the responsibility grew, so did my anxiety and self doubt. I was always worried about tomorrow. In my 40s, I have promised myself that I will learn to anchor my responsibilities, simplify my life and really try to go back to enjoying the present.
35. Listen – really listen. People appreciate it and it makes you smarter, better and more compassionate. Good listeners have better relationships with people.
36. Have good finances – My parents have always given us everything and anything we wanted and I may have lost track of the value of a dollar. In my 30s, I have actually learned what it means to “save” money. It’s so important to make smart choices with your money and live within your means. Thank goodness for Sammy!
37. Happiness is earned – not deserved.
38. Don’t wait until you are “ready” – You will be waiting for the rest of your life…
39. Take a step back and see the big picture – there is a bigger purpose in life. Getting lost in all the every day little annoyances can become redundant until I remind myself that everything happens for a reason and in the big picture, this is a tiny stepping stone.
40. Take pride in all that you have accomplished – All it takes is lifting your hand to your shoulder and tapping it a few times. I’m proud of all I have accomplished thus far and plan on kicking ass in this coming decade! Watch out 🙂
Goodbye 30’s, I’ll miss you. It was the decade I became a mother, the decade I started this blog with my sisters (with some breaks), and the decade I learned so much about myself. But most importantly, the decade I found my strength, courage and power. As I enter 40, I feel blessed, confident, strong, motivated and purposeful. My life is morphing into everything I never knew I wanted and needed. I pray that you all gain this insight and fulfillment when you turn 40. And if it takes longer that’s ok! As I mentioned, life can begin at 40, so if it happens for you at 50, 60 or 70, after all, age is just a number. Here on out, I plan on reflecting on all that I have accomplished up until now, and conquering all that lies ahead for me. So hello 40, I’m awake, alert and ready to move mountains in this next decade of my life.