Sisters and Sisters-in-Law

Yes, you read it right! Sheena and Dipti are not only sisters, but they married two brothers and are therefore also sisters-in-law! So Bollywood right? Well, it was truly a Bollywood story from the beginning – with its highs and lows! Read on as Sheena and Dipti share their experiences as these relationships were forming and unfolding…

Sheena’s Perspective

For me, I think it really hit me years into my marriage when Dip and Sach’s relationship got serious. Until then, it was very hush hush, so none of us really knew what was going on. Dipti and I used to have a very love/hate relationship, that usually was 90% hate! Of the three of us, she and I got along the least. We would fight and argue over everything (mainly because she wanted to be just like her big sister and it would get on my last nerve!) Needless to say, after marriage, I was relieved to not have to live with her anymore.

With that dynamic, I have to admit that I was completely against the idea of her dating MY brother-in-law. The idea of her also being a part of MY second family did not make me jump for joy. When she told us all, my mom was even a little skeptical of putting us into one family given our relationship. But she fought her way through and married the little bugger.

The most interesting part of the evolution of our relationship was that as much as we didn’t get along in the past, after Dip and Sach’s union, the dynamic of our relationship completely changed. It’s like we instantly grew up when we went from sisters to sister-in-laws. We have more compassion towards each other and I have actually learned to share (a little bit). There are still times when Dipti acts like she is still the baby of the family, and I get really annoyed, but I have to remind myself that this is her first rodeo. I think that the key to making this work for both of us was understanding that our sister relationship trumps all. I try my best to make her see things through the lens of a married woman, but sometimes I am forced to zoom in to make her understand. I guess I will always have to teach her the ropes, which is okay, because then I still get to be in charge!

Dipti’s Perspective

For me, it was an emotional roller coaster! I met Sachin when Sheena and I went to Nina’s Penn Naach show. I remember texting my friends (who also tease me all the time about this) “OMG, Sammy’s brother is sooo cute!” Well, it started from there. Sach and I bonded over our love for General Hospital (sorry for calling you out babe) and eventually confessed to each other that we liked each other. By that time Sheena and Samir were a done deal and Sach and I were just starting to date. Eight years later, Sach asked me to marry him and it was a no brainer.

Sheena and I were never as close as Nina and I or her and Nina so I didn’t know how she would feel about assuming the role of sister AND sister-in-law. Our relationship evolved over time. In the beginning I could not understand why she would be so adamant about me doing all the things that she did as a new bride. For me, I felt like: “Well Sheena already did it, why do I have to do it?” That perspective came from being the baby sister; I should just be able to do what I want to do. It took a lot of fights, moods, and tears to get me to finally understand what it meant to be the “younger daughter-in-law” and Sheena really had to test her patience through this time. We fought a lot in the beginning because for her she thought I should automatically understand and accept everything she told me to do, and for me I thought I could pretty much get away with doing whatever I wanted. But over these last 5 years, I have truly come to understand what this role of being a “daughter-in-law” means and more importantly, what it means to have a older sister-in-law. There is no way I would have learned my role if I didn’t have Sheena paving the way and making my life as the younger daughter-in-law as seamless as possible.  Of course our peace-keeper Nina was always by our side playing mediator between the two of us. And I think that I have OFFICIALLY lost my “baby of the family” status with all these munchkins that have taken my spot! I guess its time for me to grow up :).
PS – I did NOT want to be “just like” my crazy big sister – let’s just get that straight!